Legal Jest Lover Pillows

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Stop and Birch

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"#notguilty."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'