Legal-minded Lover Pillows

Pre-nuptial Agreement: 'Hang on, I'll carry you over the threshold next.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

"They're class action figures."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Upholding the Law

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Clarence Thomas

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''