Legal-minded Lover Pillows

Pre-nuptial Agreement: 'Hang on, I'll carry you over the threshold next.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Stop and Birch

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Intellectual Property

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

'It's a treasure map.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

Upholding the Law

Obama slipping on legal details related to Guant?namo Bay

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

'Vice squad - you're busted.'