Legal Series Lover Pillows

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Stop and Birch

"Spoiler alert."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Not guilty?"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Intellectual Property

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"You don't have to answer that."