Legal Gladiator Gifts

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Rage.

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"I feel your pain."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

Boy defends his last fry.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

"She can be outspoken."

Football Blockers.

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Power Point Hell

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

Who to Sue Today.

Law School Sharks

"I'll have my people stalk, kill and devour your people."

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."