Legal Ethics Gifts

"The plea bargain agreement is you plead guilty and charges against my next two clients will be dropped."

"Now tell the jury in your own words exactly what I've told you to say."

"In all good conscience I can't let him take the stand. He might implicate me!"

"In the interest of fairness I'm going to lower my fee. I've been disbarred."

'I want you to know - If I don't believe in your innocence, I'll have a harder time cashing this check.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'There are many ethical reasons why I can't represent you in your divorce petition. The main one being that I'm your husband.'

'Who ever says crime doesn't pay isn't a lawyer!'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'