Legal Ethics Enthusiast Gifts

Liar Defense

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Violent Crime Statistics

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'