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Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here (If you have already abandoned all hope please disregard this notice.)

"I hate it when we fight."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"Wow, what a DILF."

Sorry

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

'Drop it! Drop the Lawsuit!'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'I'm sorry, but the only person Mr. McCoy is looking to hire right now is a good criminal defense lawyer. But I'll be happy to pass you resume on to him.'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

So...who is your provider ?

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

"It killed on social media yet you say it's horrible?" "Lousy is lousy."

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

Scuba Skater

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

"What I believe is that it was fate that brought me here and that we will be best friends forever!"

'Delivery for Muhammad.'

"Last night I ended a long term relationship."

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

'Of course I forgive you. That's what friends do. How did you know it fell out of my cone?'

'Mum! Mum! Can my friend Daisy roam the plains with me this afternoon?'

"He's my friend. I made him today."

'I don't know what you're complaining about. I should charge you for breathing my second hand smoke. This happens to be a very expensive Cuban cigar!'