Controversy Fan Gifts

"Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger!"

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

I see the Boris moon arising. . .

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

"Have you noticed that the people who want to ban a film are the ones who wouldn't want to see it?"

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

The George Bush Library Tour.

Impeachment

'Rain, rain, go away, come again another day'

"Say what you will about Donald Trump, he's one helluva negotiator."

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

'Actually it's not the first time I've seen a political candidate do that.'

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'

Monsanto-Research Dept (Genetic Engineering) Publicity Dept (Frenetic Engineering)

Bring on the Crazy

LEV Trump

Chuck Schumer

'The following program contains original ideas of an educational nature and may not be suitable for all viewers. Discretion is advised.'

'Must be some way we can blame that on Obama. . .'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"We have broken the stalemate and the U.S. government is again open for business!!"

"I suspected barstool founder David Portnoy was racist."

Get Over It, You Remoaners!

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