Legal Contracts Pillows

'We happen to need someone with your particular area of expertise to interpret the company's contract language.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'With the threat of ABS's competing for Council work is going to get even harder...'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."