Contract Lawyer Pillows

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"When examining these new contracts, gentlemen, please note that in Paragraph 48 the word 'golden' has been replaced by 'plywood' and 'parachute' is now 'toboggan.'"

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"If you read the small print you'll see that the 95 miles to the gallon was only when the car was being towed."

'Well so much for not needing a break clause in the lease.'

Aways read the small print.

Strike That Clause

"I've dotted the I's, crossed the T's, and accented the vowels."

"Please sign in all the places indicated."

"I never sign without reading it first."

Secular damnation

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

The Devil's in the detail!

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.