Contract Law Pillows

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"There are parts of this contract that ANYONE could understand. You'll have to rewrite it!"

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

"The Attorney's Lunch—may I hear the warranty again?"

"That's our legal department."

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"Everything seems to be in order. Why don't I draw up paperwork and have my pests call your pests."

'This HS2 brief is the kind of work I live for!'

Strike That Clause

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

"If you look closely you'll see that your three year guarantee only applies to the years 1968 to 1971."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"Wait a sec. . . we have to give him two weeks severance pay."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'