Contracts Lawyer Pillows

'My son's doing work experience and he helps me with the small print.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'