Legal Buffoonery Aficionado T-Shirts

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

"...And now show us what you said."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'