Satirical Legal Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

Trial by Media

"Bailiff."

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

'Littering, Your Honor.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."