Legal Buffoonery Aficionado Pillows

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

"I thought I'd try a Marie Antoinette for a change."

"...And now show us what you said."

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

'Do you think I would even be here if my client were guilty?'

Corporate Lawyers

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'