Leftover Whisperer T-Shirts

"I freeze all my leftovers until I feel less guilty about throwing them away."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

My other cello is a Stradivari

Violin Practise

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

'Interactive TV news.'

Happy Violinist

Cello player has an audience of cats.

If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...

Tough germ.

"He shows enormous potential."

"Mum, you've put it on mute with sub-titles!"

"He's celebrating finishing the last page of his novel... Now he's just got 436 that come before it to write!"

'12:01 A.M., January 1, 2000'

Moan Pig.

'She used a scroggy piraya to flench her jargonel.'

Harp Book

He's more into the spoken word stuff.

Have a Box - the red contains a whistle which you can blow before the securities and exchange commission. The blue one has a bonus, which you can take home and spend.

"I've never written anything, but I think I have a good ear for dialogue."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"Trying to retrieve words we can't think of is really the bond that holds us together, isn't it?"

"With your kind permission, I've taken the liberty of putting Marvin on 'mute'."

Snow-A Thesaurus

A violin crawls towards a Dampit in the desert.

"These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously."

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

Art Terminology

'I can't repair the manual printing machine. The manual is illegible.'

"But you sais if we'd appease them with a little more food, they'd go away."

'Don't worry about a thing. Your taxes are too complicated for anyone to figure out.'