Lecture Attendee Gifts

'Of course he's smiling. He's getting $25,000 an hour to give a lecture on freedom of speech.'

Professor Malinowski Failed to Impress His Audience with his Small Bang Theory.

'...leading to our conclusion that corrective surgery of any kind has a favourable prognosis.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Scarcity

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

Presentation: Any questions?

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

Sermon Applause.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'