Leaves Lancer Gifts

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"We're out of bags."

Moses parting leaves in a forest.

Cover story: Plant World.

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"It's been half an hour. I'm jumping back in."

"It takes him forever to finish."

Go Back to New York

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

'Size matters!'

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

"Will people ever say of me - he made his mark?"

Leaf raker sets fire to tree - the source of his anguish.

'Get out of here, before I have an ASBO served on you!'

Rocket Lettuce.

'We won't be seeing that one again...'

"And I being of sound find authorise that my entire stock of kryptonite be distributed amongst the citizens of Planet Zug.."

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

Man does long jump onto pile of leaves.

The leaf blower's worst nightmare... another leaf blower.

'How many trees must have been felled to produce these handbills?'

' . . . Will you quit trying to rake that leaf!'

"You can't jump into a pile of leaves without calculating maximum spread efficiency."

"Where are you off to then Phil?"

Daughter and father riding across country

R.I.P. Jim Dandy Top sales rep 2005-2014

Snow is on the way!