Comical Legacy Leaver Gifts

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'One day son, all of this will be yours. Provided we can swing the McNulty Hart deal that is. '

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"Sorry, Dad."

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"He had it commissioned just before he died."

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"Some day son, all this will belong to your ex-wives."

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

"A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into making this company what it is today! My father worked hard for what I've got."

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'