Learning Financial Responsibility Gifts

"Baldo, you need to set a budget for yourself."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

"The time has come to talk of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of double-entry bookkeeping, too."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!'

"The scammers managed to clear out your entire pension fund."

Low standard of living

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

True Debate Fun

'Any time you need more, the money tree is here.'

'Is my allowance a form of income redistribution?'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

They stole your identity, but after seeing your credit score, they gave it back.

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

Dispute over pocket money

'The secret of a contented life, my son, is to invest in true low-cost index funds.'