Leafy Laugh-seeker Pillows

"Here comes Bob - and remember, he's sesitive about the cooking shrinkage."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Grass huggers.

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Eden. There's great leaves to wear growing on this vine. Ah, it's the new summer clothing line!

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

'Lettuce pray!'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'You took some nice photos of your autumn leaves. Which one is you favourite.'

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

Timber!

'Listen, be fair, George - it's your TURN to take Mrs McCarthy for her lesson.'

'You know you said you 'fancied fish for supper,' you might want to think again!'

"I may seem like a dour sort, Mr. Penfeather, but, I assure you, I can smile with the best of them when the occasion demands."

"I'd better not eat any more spinach. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

The Joy of Greens.

'She's a vegetarian.'

Clowns tending lawn.

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight...'

Ernie was sick and tired of socks and jocks every Christmas.

'He's overweight and hates walks, so I'm giving this a try!'

Grapes

'We take concerns about billions of pounds of NHS fraud very seriously. In fact I've asked Nurse Miggins to sort it out as soon as she gets back from lunch!'

"Are you sure it's vegan?"

Man wears part of a plant as a tie.

'Das Kapital' written by Groucho Marx

"I want to be strictly vegetarian Mum, so I need to make sure I don't eat bugs with my grass..."

"Anyway, I'm making crazy money selling out humanity."

Hay-on-Kwai Festival

'Your wife got the house, but I did manage to get you custody of the mortgage payments.'