Leafy Dialogue Lovers Gifts

'She's stopped talking to me....She just yells that I have to grow...'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

Exciting potato bugs.

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Grass huggers.

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

The Cactus Reader

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

Cops' Right to Beat You in Private Shall Not Be Infringed

"What do you mean 'This affair is going nowhere'? This isn't nowhere."

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

'Lettuce pray!'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

The unfortunate night there were two talking sticks at the conflict resolution meeting.

"Well, I'm an expert on communication!"

'Let's face it, marriage isn't just a word it's a sentence!'