Leafy Dialogue Lovers Gifts

'She's stopped talking to me....She just yells that I have to grow...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Grass huggers.

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

The Cactus Reader

"What do you mean 'This affair is going nowhere'? This isn't nowhere."

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'Lettuce pray!'

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

The unfortunate night there were two talking sticks at the conflict resolution meeting.

"Well, I'm an expert on communication!"

'We may be old but the supermarket's automatic doors still acknowledge our existence, so we still matter.'