Leafy Confidant Pillows

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Your love gives me strength."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Grass huggers.

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

The Cactus Reader

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"