Leafy Legend Pillows

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Grass huggers.

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

The Cactus Reader

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

"Lawn fish. They're hell to get rid of."

'Lettuce pray!'

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

Spring cleaning.

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

'Where's the starter?'

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

"I'd better not eat any more spinach. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'For Sheila it wasn't enough just to be a vegetarian, that's why she became a ruminant.'

Gardener's Calendar: April - Your lawn will have started to grow now.

'Son, now that you're 16, I thought I'd let you drive.'