Leafy Literary Pillows

The Cactus Reader

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Grass huggers.

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Eden. There's great leaves to wear growing on this vine. Ah, it's the new summer clothing line!

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

Hip Pocket Editions

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'Lettuce pray!'

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

Les Fleurs Du Mal

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

"I'd better not eat any more spinach. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'She's stopped talking to me....She just yells that I have to grow...'

'For Sheila it wasn't enough just to be a vegetarian, that's why she became a ruminant.'

The Joy of Greens.

"Ironically, he's being used to create 'save our forest' pamphlets."

"Here comes Bob - and remember, he's sesitive about the cooking shrinkage."

Grapes

Ant Cut-out

"And, if you'd like something to read, we have books on tap."

'She's a vegetarian.'

"What would you boys think if we started selling books?"

'looks like the lettuce is starting to bolt.'