Leaf Whiz Gifts

"Why do we lose our leaves in the fall - I'm cold all winter."

The first car accident.

Modern kite for wind energy.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

'I need both hands for steering.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Mice taking lessons.

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

First Speeding Fine.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

Millipede motorist

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

The Best Defense for Trump's Wall

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'Norman's building a small Hadron Collider.'

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Hardscrabble"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

"I'm going to call it zero."

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"