Leaf Whiz T-Shirts

"Why do we lose our leaves in the fall - I'm cold all winter."

The first car accident.

Modern kite for wind energy.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"The good news is, the wind turbine is working great, the bad news is, it blew all the solar panels off the roof."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

'I need both hands for steering.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Mice taking lessons.

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

First Speeding Fine.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

Millipede motorist

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"Wow! - Record climate emergency in Western Canada!. . ."

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

'Norman's building a small Hadron Collider.'

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"Hardscrabble"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

"The standard model accounts for the 12 known particles of matter that interact via the strong, weak and electromagnetic fundamental forces. Okay, smart girl, do you understand that?"

"I'm going to call it zero."