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"I can't go"

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'Four across is 'Carpathian'...'

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

"Hardscrabble"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"What's an eight-letter word for 'unmarried man'?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'Nurse with a degree! - Nurse with a degree!!'

'I'm passing an education through the school gates.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Dog Park

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Sauce for the Goose

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Nerd tryouts.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Examinations.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"It's a swearbox."

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"You're famous, Angus."

A gift to complete the man cave.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Prawn Amend

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."