Leaf-peeping Punster Gifts

'This happens every fall! You'd better get the rake...'

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Chicken soup for the sole.

Water is discovered on the moon....

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Mystery of the Poets

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

Optometrist Humor

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Norman is an island."

Lit. Exam. I carefully read "Ulysses," "Dubliners" and "Finnegans Wake," but I was kicked out by the teacher for calling the exam a "multiple-Joyce" test.

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

The vegan hunter

Fleas Navidad.

Various Birds of Pray.