Leadership Paradox Ponderer Pillows

"We want someone who can lead in a crisis, but doesn't."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

307 days without an accident.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

A psychic mows the lawn.

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

Schrodinger's kittens