Lazy Sunday Aficionado Gifts

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I'm having a pajama day."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

How the goat got square eyes.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

The Procrastinatorium.

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"We've lost the remote."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

Bummer Time Streaming

'Now that I have your attention...'