Lazy Morning Appreciator Gifts

'The early bird can have the worm as far as I'm concerned -- I'd rather sleep in and then go to McDonald's.'

Police Feline Unit

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Lazy Octopus

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

Cat and mouse

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Catatonic

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

How the goat got square eyes.

'Ah, business as usual.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'