Lazy Loaf Admirer Pillows

'I don't know how you kids can sit around all day watching this garbage on television.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

I bake my own bread.

"How are we on bread?"

"Love me?"

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."

Baker

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

"I'm too lazy to chase cars. Thanks to phones, I now just track them."

"I'm sort of hesitant to remind him that his work-from-home days are over starting Monday."

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Inactive wear'

'I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!'

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"Fetch? You fetch it - you're nearer to it than I am."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

Baking Bread

"Hunting and gathering is too much work. Let's invent credit cards so we can charge people interest!"

"I think my couch potatoes have evolved."

"Being a lazy slob is part of my identity. Keep on nagging and I'll report you to our diversity officer!"

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

Remote Toaster

"Have you seen the video, '20 Things To Do Before You Die'?"