Lazy Humor Appreciator Pillows

You don't move about too much, do you?

Police Feline Unit

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Ah, business as usual.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report.'

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

'Lethargy is a sign of depression? No wonder we sloths have never gotten anywhere.'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

"They both like to have their stomachs scratched."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

T-shirts will allegiance to different types of music on, while one guy has a shirt that reads 'middle of the road is all right with me.'

'Catch you later.. I've got to get my 23 hours.'

'I was sick and tired of weaving webs all the time: I buy fly paper now...'

'How's the executive training program, going?'

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

'She's a lap cat.'

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'What the...? Bleeeeccchhh!' 'Hey, where's my hanky?'