Lazy Humor Appreciator Gifts

You don't move about too much, do you?

Police Feline Unit

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

Cat Desk Organizers: In, Out, Eat, Sleep.

'Lethargy is a sign of depression? No wonder we sloths have never gotten anywhere.'

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

Clancy: Hard Work Never Killed Anybody

'Don't just sit around all day. Go pollinate something?'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"You missed breakfast and lunch and haven't left your bed so it's not worth you getting up now. Good night!"

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"They both like to have their stomachs scratched."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"I hate it when the baby f**ks my face."

'She's a lap cat.'

'Catch you later.. I've got to get my 23 hours.'

"I'm so bored: All my parents ever do as a family activity is 'soaking up the sun'..."

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

'How's the executive training program, going?'

T-shirts will allegiance to different types of music on, while one guy has a shirt that reads 'middle of the road is all right with me.'

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."