Lazy Fitness Fan Pillows

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"See, you just turn it on and stand here and it slides you right to the shirt you want to wear."

Trainer. Fitness gym. Ernie does a forth-five minute workout every morning -- he call it "getting out of bed."

'Let him struggle; it's the only exercise he gets.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

On the back of the t-shirt...

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"I run around this high school track every morning."

Reasonableman

Exercise Bars

Sisyphus during Covid

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

Fast Food Dieter

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'