Lawn Taming Ninja Gifts

"I lost control of the mower and composted most of your garden."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

I quilt therefore I am

Tool Box

"Mulch madness"

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Crazy old clown cat lady.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

The World's best Camouflage Store.

Cross-country knitting.

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

The Knitwit...

Be the grass...

"How can I think outside the box when you keep filling my inbox."

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'Congratulations to Sniper Harris on winning Best Floral Arrangement...'

Web Stockings

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

Camp Games

Maid with her sewing basket

Multitasking

Electronics. It's a great idea, but nobody makes campaign-canceling headphones.

Gardener laying turf.

"You used to have a funny little laugh, Marshall. What happened to your funny little laugh."

"It was cute when the cat just played with a ball of wool, but this is getting out of hand."

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'I'd like to return this sweater I knitted.'

A knitter's in and out boxes