Lawn Stylist Gifts

'Short back and sides please'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Mulch madness"

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'George! This way quick!'

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

The Scottish Lawn

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

Death upgrades to a strimmer

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.