Lawn Stylist Gifts

'Short back and sides please'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"Mulch madness"

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'George! This way quick!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

The Scottish Lawn

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Ref shows footballer green card.

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

Death upgrades to a strimmer

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Wen leaf blowers become too powerful.