Lawn Guardian T-Shirts

'Wow, look at the beautiful garden! Out of respect for the gardener, I say we only tunnel around it...'

'Leave my kingdom! Go now, or I will doom your pathetic souls to eternal hellfire!'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Monkey-artist

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Biodiversity

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"It's trickle down."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Relax. They're just crows."

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

Earth Day Summit.

Grass huggers.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'This year, we can remove the words Glacier, Permafrost, Iceberg ...'

Beware of the Lawn

Watering the garden gnome

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."