Law-loving Linguist Gifts

"There really is no need for confusion about the change in the enforcement of this law. Part 95 of section 33 of article Q in the manual quite clearly states ..."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

On second thought, your honor

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'It looks like the attorney is going to present his brief.'

After Mr and Mrs Tooth and Nail you've got the Hammer and Tongs.

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

"Yes, Peters, it is just legalese. It's all just legalese. We're a law firm."

"In my downtime I'm using this app to learn Corporate speak, Legalese, and French."

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

'Son, I want to talk to you about the birds, the bees, and the attorney client privilege.'

Bureaucrat/lawyer speaks legal gobbledegook to assistant with tea tray. Secretary translates: 'That'll be two sugars then.'

'Lately, Foster, your mumbo jumbo has become too understandable.'

Objection very overruled.

'Simply answer the question, yes or no, in as few words as possible.'