Law-loving Elder Pillows

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Rock on Grandma!

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

With Jury Duty for All

You want my support for your reform bill, eh? — what's it worth to you?

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

At the Old Bikers' Home

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'My husband's a criminal lawyer...'

WPC

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and

100th Birthday

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.

Elderly religious cleric takes stair lift up the temple.

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"The wild walker"

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

"You've lost a little weight since your last physical, but you're also two inches shorter."

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

'Who told you, just because i kissed you once or twice, you could laze around the office?'

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

Do not dare ask me about my grandchildren!