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"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

His master's vice - heroin!

'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

'Well thank God...I thought for one minute you were a kissogram.'

'Oh no a speed camera.'

Another motorist fails the field spiral test.

'No buddy, I didn't stop you because you were going too fast.'

Seat Belt Cop.

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

'I've started to notice how much younger our criminals seem to look!'

Psychologist & Policeman

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Police hiding in the ballot box.

"Don't worry, the first 20 years in this department are the hardest."

"No doubt you already know if I'm a good cop or a bad cop."

'Rotten luck - They've spotted me parking on thish double yellow line!'

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop.

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'How could I have driven at 50mph? I've only been in the car for five minutes.'

Police now targeting ill informed drivers.

City Police...K - 41/2 unit

"Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be like everyone else and unfollow me."

"Good cop/bad cop/mime cop."

"We haven't covered it yet in your training, but you're supposed to use that to detect metal."

"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."

'We're being sued for having unflattering pictures on wanted posters.'

"I got tired of running."

"A patrol car wasn't available to bring my collar to jail."

"Hi honey, I'm home."

'There's never a terrorist around when you want one.'

Serious Crime Squad/Light-Hearted Crime Squad/Happy A Larry Crime Squad.

Policemen

"My headlights aren't working? how am I supposed to see it? It's too dark!"

'Why were you speeding?' - 'Because you were hiding and I couldn't see you.'