Law Enforcement Enthusiast Pillows

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

His master's vice - heroin!

'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

'Well thank God...I thought for one minute you were a kissogram.'

'Oh no a speed camera.'

Another motorist fails the field spiral test.

'No buddy, I didn't stop you because you were going too fast.'

Seat Belt Cop.

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

'I've started to notice how much younger our criminals seem to look!'

Police now targeting ill informed drivers.

Psychologist & Policeman

'How could I have driven at 50mph? I've only been in the car for five minutes.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'Rotten luck - They've spotted me parking on thish double yellow line!'

Good Cop, Bad Cop, Lousy Cop.

"No doubt you already know if I'm a good cop or a bad cop."

"Don't worry, the first 20 years in this department are the hardest."

Police hiding in the ballot box.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'Why were you speeding?' - 'Because you were hiding and I couldn't see you.'

"My headlights aren't working? how am I supposed to see it? It's too dark!"

Policemen

Serious Crime Squad/Light-Hearted Crime Squad/Happy A Larry Crime Squad.

'There's never a terrorist around when you want one.'

"Hi honey, I'm home."

"Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be like everyone else and unfollow me."

"Good cop/bad cop/mime cop."

City Police...K - 41/2 unit

"A patrol car wasn't available to bring my collar to jail."

"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."

'We're being sued for having unflattering pictures on wanted posters.'

"I got tired of running."

"My sniffer dog has been up graded."