Law Enforcement Anniversary Pillows

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Pearly King and Queen

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

Saved...life is good!

Pet Entertainers

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

"I always cry at mergers."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about.'

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"You have the right to remain silent."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

'I'm miserable... but only for competitive purposes.'

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

"I'm regretting that I offered him free lunch instead of an increased salary!"