Law Enforcement Anniversary Gifts

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Mark Zuckerberg

Pearly King and Queen

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

Saved...life is good!

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

Pet Entertainers

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

"I always cry at mergers."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I haven't got a clue what I'm talking about.'

"So that is unanimous then - nobody has a clue what to do."

'Oh no a speed camera.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

'I'm miserable... but only for competitive purposes.'

"You have the right to remain silent."

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

Don't Try Anything Funny.