Law Book Lover Gifts

'The books on this shelf contradict all the books on that shelf.'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"I'm glad your second year in law school has you thinking like an attorney, but you've got to stop submitting a bill with your homework."

'I'm Tort Law, you want Murphy's...'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'We're moving the law library in here since you have most of the books.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

Stop and Birch

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Violent Crime Statistics

Intellectual Property

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'