Law Lore Lover Gifts

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Stop and Birch

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"#notguilty."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"

Violent Crime Statistics

Intellectual Property

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Another slander suit!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'I'm here waiting appeals.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."