Law And Crime Buff T-Shirts

'Surveillance video puts on 10 pounds.'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

hard-boiled egg...

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'You know too much,'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Sue the Author 3PM

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Why is it always about me?'

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Privatized Jails

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Newton's Law and Order.

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Ignorance of the Law

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."