Legal Affairs Buff T-Shirts

'It was entrapment, Your Honor -- If the voters hadn't elected me, I wouldn't BE in this mess!'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'In a complex court settlement, our parent company gets custody of us on the weekends.'

Ignorance of the Law

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

Upholding the Law

"My agent."

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

Judge

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."