Legal Issues Buff T-Shirts

'I'll have the 'Indicted But Never Convicted' businessman's lunch.'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Why is it always about me?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

Privatized Jails

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Newton's Law and Order.